Adjusting To The Newborn
The excitement of a new baby over takes the marriage. You have waited for nine months to see your newborn and it’s finally here! Everyone has helped you get ready. You have all the essentials and things you will never use! Then reality sets in: we both have to work, who gets up with the baby at 2am or 4am? Why is she too tired for sex nowadays? He must not think I’m attractive anymore, he hasn’t touched me in weeks! Is there another woman? Is there another man? We can’t even watch our favorite show together, all she does is sleep! Kids are great….
I Miss Sleep!
Communication is the only way to adjust to a new person in your marriage. You will have to take turns feeding the baby. It is why the breast pump was invented. Willow Breast Pump has great mobile breast pumps and other supplies that might be covered by your insurance.
You will need more sleep at weird hours because the new person is taking your normal sleeping time. Sex does become less important than sleep but talking to your partner will keep them informed of what is actually going on instead of allowing their thoughts to go crazy. Parents need time to adjust to having a new person and once the adjustments are in effect you can start spending more time together.
The Next Kids Phase
Now this little person is growing and questions arise that involve both parents yet neither of you really discussed. For example, what type of discipline would be the most effective? How old does the child have to be before we start the discipline? Will we follow a specific religion? What about schools and afterschool programs?
Most parents do not discuss these issues and end up right in the middle of an argument since both usually have strong beliefs in what is “right”. To raise a child, there is no right or wrong, only the “best you can”. Children learn at a young age if they cry, act out or throw a fit, it will get your attention and negative attention is better than a lack of attention. Therefore, make a plan for your child BEFORE they hit the age of two or three on what type of discipline to start.
Learning The Word NO
As the parent, it is your job to teach your child what they need to learn. Tell your child “NO” when they reach for something that may break or hurt them and if they reach for it again, tap their hand and tell them NO again. They will cry for about ten seconds and then try to reach for it again so repeat the tap with a NO until they stop reaching for it. Removing it out of their reach does not teach them what NO means and you will want them to understand what NO means later on in life. It not only helps them learn the word, but it helps them know that you are being very serious about something due to the sound of your voice. Therefore, when the time comes that you need your unruly child to actually listen to you….they will.
Parents Are Easy
Discipline is just an example that parents need to figure out before it comes in between your marriage. There is nothing worse than teaching your child one way and the other parent contradicting it.
Although it does happen repeatedly which causes your kids to understand that if Mom says NO then go ask Dad to get what you want. When Mom finds out she will be mad at Dad but I still got what I wanted. So yes your children can come between your marriage more than you are aware. Do not let them play you against each other because it will cause animosity.
Remember one thing from all of this: your partner was there when there were no kids and will be there after the kids are grown and moved out.